FROM THE JOURNAL OF ALEXANDER MANNING
SIGH.
I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I died when the 'Valiant' went down and this is some trickster God's version of heaven... clearly reserved only for those most charming and adventurous of gentlemen. For no sooner had my eyes closed last night as I found myself walking through some alien street in a place that I quickly learned was called Zhafillia. Immediately behind me were My Sexy Zimbabwean Wife, Adia and that smooth-eyed stalwart of a devotee, Rubro. I shared a glance with my apparently eternal companion, shrugged, and set about making sense of this place. The populace were of an exceedingly unusual sort, each with skin of a different colour, each as vibrant as the sun itself. One poor chap even had skin as translucent as the sky itself! Horrible.
The three of us (plus Genko, that intrepid Mule of Rubros), tailed a large and well armed group of these fantastically coloured natives. In a short time I managed to convince them that I had been a part of their mercenary contingent for quite some time. Indeed, such was the skill of my tongue that I had them all talking about how mightily a show we had put on in their last battle (allegedly against some 'Robot Bears'?). This display was enough to get us all something of a promotion, and a full share of any pillage. Easiest promotion a man could earn!
Sadly, it proved to be as big a curse as a boon, as we were now expected to venture into some ruins to help some gents who we presumed were the leaders if this little expedition. Undismayed, we walked for some time across an amazing, dual-mooned landscape. Truly no words could express the wonder I felt as I travelled. I wish I had taken more time to sketch, for soon we reached our destination: The lair of these so called 'Robot-Bears'. Ridiculous! We left the rabble outside. I was disconcerted by the way they ogled my Sexy Zimbabwean Wife, Adia, but the stories of my mighty deeds kept their greasy fingers away from her. The architecture of the place was wonderfully strange. The facility seemed to be put together with very little rhyme or reason... The doors themselves seemed sinister, closing behind us and resisting our efforts to open them. A horrible place, as I say.
First we came across a room filled with complicated machines - covered in buttons and panes of glass... My new companions made some attempt to describe to me their purpose and I made a good show of pretending to be interested. We moved on. The next room appeared to be a library, though completely immolated - the ash from its remains sent several of my friends into awkward coughing fits. After some brief rummaging, I discovered a large symbol on the floor, apparently for demon summoning. HORRIBLE. Nearby by was a second symbol, this one a smaller circle with a name in it. Obviously I didnt note the name, for even knowing the name of someone involved in this chicanery is almost certainly to my detriment. We forced open a second door once all of lungs were clear. Into a uh... room filled with pipes. All through this room were pipes, presumably pumping the irdescent slime that was leaking from one. We investigated cautiously, soon discovering that this vileness was some kind of protoplasmic slime which dissolved almost everything it touched. Everything it seems, bar glass... May have to come back here to try to weaponise the stuff, not that I personally would carry it, of course.
After some cunning and deliberation, I located and negotiated a deviously hidden secret door at the back of room... And what a great deed I had done, dear Journal! By the Three and the One that made them! This could be my greatest discovery yet! Literal piles of currency, stored in two, easy-to-carry chests! There must have more than 5000 pieces in there. Oh, Rubro, that smooth-skinned curiosity who I hesitantly call a friend of mine, was all mangled and horrible sickened by some sinister poison when he wonderfully punched one of those open... but he turned out fine, so it's ultimately inconsequential. FIVE THOUSAND COINS, JOURNAL!! Truly this Horrible multiverse is full of surprises. Oh so then we had to trick everyone outside into thinking the chests were full of snakes or something... I must admit I was somewhat distracted for this last part, for my mind was exploring the implications of this discovery. I think I killed a snake or three? Oh and there were some horrible clanking constructions, possibly clockwork or steampowered. Don't remember, don't care. Five thousand. I write this from lodgings easily as good as those back in Castle Manning. Brightly coloured servants bring me fine and exotic dishes, to be washed down with spirits of wonderful complexity. Omnipotent Wrae has dealt me a kind hand this day. May Night fill the hearths of those who doubted me!
SIGH.
I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I died when the 'Valiant' went down and this is some trickster God's version of heaven... clearly reserved only for those most charming and adventurous of gentlemen. For no sooner had my eyes closed last night as I found myself walking through some alien street in a place that I quickly learned was called Zhafillia. Immediately behind me were My Sexy Zimbabwean Wife, Adia and that smooth-eyed stalwart of a devotee, Rubro. I shared a glance with my apparently eternal companion, shrugged, and set about making sense of this place. The populace were of an exceedingly unusual sort, each with skin of a different colour, each as vibrant as the sun itself. One poor chap even had skin as translucent as the sky itself! Horrible.
The three of us (plus Genko, that intrepid Mule of Rubros), tailed a large and well armed group of these fantastically coloured natives. In a short time I managed to convince them that I had been a part of their mercenary contingent for quite some time. Indeed, such was the skill of my tongue that I had them all talking about how mightily a show we had put on in their last battle (allegedly against some 'Robot Bears'?). This display was enough to get us all something of a promotion, and a full share of any pillage. Easiest promotion a man could earn!
Sadly, it proved to be as big a curse as a boon, as we were now expected to venture into some ruins to help some gents who we presumed were the leaders if this little expedition. Undismayed, we walked for some time across an amazing, dual-mooned landscape. Truly no words could express the wonder I felt as I travelled. I wish I had taken more time to sketch, for soon we reached our destination: The lair of these so called 'Robot-Bears'. Ridiculous! We left the rabble outside. I was disconcerted by the way they ogled my Sexy Zimbabwean Wife, Adia, but the stories of my mighty deeds kept their greasy fingers away from her. The architecture of the place was wonderfully strange. The facility seemed to be put together with very little rhyme or reason... The doors themselves seemed sinister, closing behind us and resisting our efforts to open them. A horrible place, as I say.
First we came across a room filled with complicated machines - covered in buttons and panes of glass... My new companions made some attempt to describe to me their purpose and I made a good show of pretending to be interested. We moved on. The next room appeared to be a library, though completely immolated - the ash from its remains sent several of my friends into awkward coughing fits. After some brief rummaging, I discovered a large symbol on the floor, apparently for demon summoning. HORRIBLE. Nearby by was a second symbol, this one a smaller circle with a name in it. Obviously I didnt note the name, for even knowing the name of someone involved in this chicanery is almost certainly to my detriment. We forced open a second door once all of lungs were clear. Into a uh... room filled with pipes. All through this room were pipes, presumably pumping the irdescent slime that was leaking from one. We investigated cautiously, soon discovering that this vileness was some kind of protoplasmic slime which dissolved almost everything it touched. Everything it seems, bar glass... May have to come back here to try to weaponise the stuff, not that I personally would carry it, of course.
After some cunning and deliberation, I located and negotiated a deviously hidden secret door at the back of room... And what a great deed I had done, dear Journal! By the Three and the One that made them! This could be my greatest discovery yet! Literal piles of currency, stored in two, easy-to-carry chests! There must have more than 5000 pieces in there. Oh, Rubro, that smooth-skinned curiosity who I hesitantly call a friend of mine, was all mangled and horrible sickened by some sinister poison when he wonderfully punched one of those open... but he turned out fine, so it's ultimately inconsequential. FIVE THOUSAND COINS, JOURNAL!! Truly this Horrible multiverse is full of surprises. Oh so then we had to trick everyone outside into thinking the chests were full of snakes or something... I must admit I was somewhat distracted for this last part, for my mind was exploring the implications of this discovery. I think I killed a snake or three? Oh and there were some horrible clanking constructions, possibly clockwork or steampowered. Don't remember, don't care. Five thousand. I write this from lodgings easily as good as those back in Castle Manning. Brightly coloured servants bring me fine and exotic dishes, to be washed down with spirits of wonderful complexity. Omnipotent Wrae has dealt me a kind hand this day. May Night fill the hearths of those who doubted me!
Alas, Journal, I must leave you presently! My Sexy Wife Adia has a look of great jealousy and appears acquiescent of other pursuits this evening...
Postscript: Forgive my poor grammar, Journal! This Mulled Wine has gone to both my head and my pen, it seems...
Postscript: Forgive my poor grammar, Journal! This Mulled Wine has gone to both my head and my pen, it seems...
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